Tankar och dikter

You are the sun that shines without problems

You name us everyone pursue what we are

Moreover, all other is poor and content loose

If I scold on poor, behaviour becomes the error

Scolds you if problems are it court

You give me one Heart attack before scheduled time

I drink and smoke

I were kicked and kick-sleds back

In addition, the words I consulted of men and women hit back

But gentleman god not Carina she that is so mild

Most believes I accept something

It gives me poorly feeling

Forced people not read it I typed

I anticipated that you would not like it you saw

Apologize in order to I do not fall in your spirit

I feel poorly as damn

I am not astonished over your reaction

What that is not in your taste disappears quickly

Understands that it falls away like I do

I die earlier in this life with everyone bester certain

Haha you are fucking unbelievable ha-ha the one I can stand in all kinds of wheatears.

Sanna you are unbelievable once and a while I reading your blog . Moreover, the funniest things are. We are through a faze in life seems like.

You just make it fun to reading about even if it is hard times, your laughter and kind of way’s to express your self in is the best!

I fallow your blog some times and it makes me start to think…many people is just like me…and then I start to laughing…your mood is up and down like mine. I think we belong to same world, ha-ha you just laughing and yes people ask a lot. However, I do not cear about that. You are fucking crazy, nice and funny. I needed to read your blog today. To face that we are so similar with eachother…it`s all most creepy to see.

Ha-ha, I think we both are crazy and we live the same confusing life. As fast as I reading about you, I start to smile. Your words and sentences make it fun!

You can speak for your self and I like to sit and listen to what you have to say about things. Of courst, I like you.

This is me the owner of the blog, I promised I would not show my self in picture but I changed my mind, everything spins round…I almost doesn’t know what day it is…

Had a huge panic attack yesterday and it almost kill me when I have those…hard for the one that stands beside? I do not try to escape my problems because I cannot its fucking obvious that they are in my life. So do not even say I do not know about them! I do not cear less about that figurant in my darker room. She will die if she approaches me in wrong way…just for you to know…mey seem a bit crazy for you people. However, I am just honest about my feels, habits, and life!

Carina the crazy as bitch for every one else but for me just a normal Carina with old habits and some whom that stand left inside me. That makes my anger and hatred come forth. I do not think anyone else can do anything about. I do not expect people to understand or stay for that matters this is I yes! I love you my darling no doubt about that. Every day away is like hell and today I am in better mood then yesterday because I will go to you!

Me the owner of the blog:)

I am never fond longer

I do not blame on you or you

It is only so clear

Everything is straight before me

Nevertheless, you cannot only say that it is

You care yourself the half of what I say

For everything turns to that it is across wrong

Can you not only take your responsibility?

I know that you have ethnic in the bed

Believes you not I know that you got tired

As I said will not die today or tomorrow

And your defence to why nothing is good

Believes you it is across wrong that you must run around

Plays no role has tried trust you

You knocked me with the world’s replies sometimes

Permanent you do not see it, perhaps is I not so honest all the time

I am tired on playing mild and stupid before ethnic

Only submit me to die as everyone other

Only submit me with open sows and faith you have to sow correct

Faith you are sow good without deficiencies and wrong

I tell gladly for the world that you are not it only

I shit in what you buy to me

I am not up after billions

Is not up after that few waited on on silver plates

If you choose to have more one me so gets it to stand for you

I never will fail someone so a lot

I forever will speak free and honest

My intentions were not to get you to feel poorly

My intentions were not to get you to know you so bored

Agree to your black dressed fools that take and does not give

Agree to those the black dressed sex miss farmers

So that you call me pursue then and then

Take a damn reflection on what damn I am for you

I want to get away to impose my time terribly honest spoken

Tired on to last mediator and to be included in bullshit

Tired on to consult how poor and mean it to unite where

I order it straight you brother

I order it straight you sister

I order it straight you the friend

Finished speak like that here damn shit

Do not draw me with you in this

I have already heard on everything internal

How it goes in the sex life

How you put-on brides and lies for judgement

How you recognize yourself in me

Crappy same they have same but different

Moreover, this is my world and my life

You were only a part of it

Of course, more I intend on everything feels me bad

To not last it perfect in your eyes

See on your alone

You are both losers and narrow-minded

Sentencing and not sentencing on same time

Only that I can stand in order to I have a lot

Moreover, that I wrestle with what that is across

Doubt and trust

Gives me central agencies

I cannot intend clearly

I see everything in blue

Think that I pity myself

I feel poorly on everything

Tired on two messages

Perhaps, I have some error

Yes, I have all errors

But at least knows I that it is so

Moreover, that I have all court to whine about I want to

Complains on what I want to

Call me childish or ridiculous

You are probably worse one me

Stand where and look  stupid

Speak on your psychological ways

Believes you can either me pursues it

Believes that you are best in order to you can speak

I can also speak permanent Lely I do it across out

Intend itself pursues do nobody therefore becomes one hated

One becomes loved or hated for something

I woke up today thinking nobody trusts anybody.

It is too bad it has to be this way, so I am not the only who struggle with trust.

I think it is human but few people admit it, they have to much pride in them.

My pride is there with me, of courts I am proud of being me, and without all the way’s I am it aint me no more.

Yesterday some one wanted me to answer on a public community site, my god are they really that interested of my life.

Because they do not even know me for real, I am sickened tired of the net world. Some faked up world that only make it when the hearts are blue, and people that feel blue want some little contact.

That is when things start being sick, because you believe it so much that you forgets about the real world outside the little net world.

Now I am just in there once and a while. And of courst it’s always fun to see how many dumb as people believe they have falling in love…without seeing me in real…Hm ha-ha it is a funny behaviour we people got there.

Why we fight is because I want the truth, and of courst, I get angry if I dislike what you tell me, it is my decisions if I want to stay with some one. Depends on what I asked for and what the answers lead to.

However, people do not understand that, all those who have something to hide always comes with attitude and want to make me shut up! Because they know somewhere, their behaviour is sick and wrong… They cannot stay with one at the time…and they want the cake so bad…They forget who is coming between their perverted dreams! It is also called cold not feeling for others just cear about them selves…and that is not me. Forget that shit…and that is why I can trust people anymore. They are all the same…where to find some one only that wants the same as me.

I sit here in front of the computer getting nowhere.

I am tired and my thoughts spin round, I hate this feel.

I just want to give up some times, just stop listening to people.

All they have to come up with is some bad advices, what to do when you not getting somewhere.

If you can deal with …ok good for you…if you can handle to feel empty and just wasted…good for you.

I just have to write some times, I hate sitting in public and eat …if you think it is corny do not mind if you do!

I hate birthdays they make me panic, to get salibrated to be one year older is the stupidest thing.

I like to eat cake more then once in month…I love to get surprises with out birthdays…it just make me feel blue. To feel how life fly away.

When you are a child, you admire all kinds of birthdays…because they do not see it the same way. As when you are adult.

Suddenly everything becomes very silly. The same thing year after year. Is the same thing with believe in Santa. You did when you were little but not as an adult.

Idag vaknade jag med snurrande huvud, ringde alla möjliga igår och försökte få bort ångest.

Pratade i telefon med vänner och älskling, och försöker få grepp om saker.

Pratade med Sofie min vänJ hm och det gjorde saker mycket bättre, synd bara att hon är borta när jag kommer tillbaks till Skellefteå, hon är så rar och snäll, hon svarar i alla fall när jag ringer och pratar ja och såklart älskling. Jag har ändå sovit bra dom här nätterna under veckan förutom förrgår då jag fick något ryck.

Jag somnade med hörlurar och full volym på musik, hahaha påminn mig att aldrig sova med hörlurar och cd-spelare igång, då jag gjorde ett kast i sängen och skulle vända mig…tänk resten själv.

Förutom att jag själv vaknade med ett chocksenarie av ljudet och inte fatta först vad det var.

Jag har ju ett uttag där min lampa är inkopplad delvis cd-spelaren och ibland laddar jag min telefon där..hahaha fatta inte vad jag pysslade med.

När jag väl fattade att det var hos mig ljudet dånade ifrån hahaha säg mitt i natten klockan tre och det var kolsvart i lägenheten, jag tog första bästa sladd jag såg med mitt dåliga mörkerseende och drog ut den, paff sa glödlampan där gick den tänkte jag..fortfarande var det fel sladd och musiken fortsatte …hahaha ju mer jag försökte fokusera på rätt avstängningsknapp blev jag nervös, till slut drog jag ut varenda sladd halvsovandes!

Så kan det gå när man somnar med hörlurar i öronen, inte jordens undergång tyckte bara det är typiskt mig.

Jag har städat noggrant i min lilla lägenhet också sällsynt hos mig, men ibland får jag mina städ ryck och konstaterar att det ser för jävligt ut, så här kan det inte se ut.

Jag har åstadkommit lite i veckan som gått i alla fall starkt jobbat Carina hahaha överväldigad att jag tar mig för å städar ibland.